It's Christmas (Horror) Time!
Monagle let me write this week's post, if you couldn't tell.
Well hello there, Substackers.
Most weeks, these newsletters will feature words by Matt Monagle that give you a behind-the-scenes glimpse at how Certified Forgotten runs. Today’s not most weeks! You’re in for something different with me at the helm. Today you’re in Donato’s world, and since I’m drowning in Christmas Horror screeners, let’s stay on brand.
If you’ve followed the podcast since its inception, it’s pretty easy to tell the difference between a “Donato Movie” and a “Monagle Movie.” Monagle’s got The Blackcoat’s Daughter, and I’ve got Dude Bro Party Massacre III. It’s always a delight when someone brings a clear-as-day Donato movie onto the podcast, especially when it’s one I already adore. Santa Jaws is one such instance, which the lovely Michael Varrati chose for our 67th episode. It’s got comic books coming to life, shark attacks, candy cane horns — think a SYFY Original with heart and humor.
If there’s any Christmas Horror movie that gets the Certified Forgotten seal of approval, it’s Santa Jaws.
Another favorite I snuck into our editorial pool is Steven C. Miller’s Silent Night, a remake of the holiday slasher classic Silent Night, Deadly Night. It’s way more “Donato Movie” than “Monagle Movie,” down to the poor victim fed into a wood chipper. Contributor Paul Doro wrote about how Silent Night “brings us the best kind of bad Santa” for the website, getting to the root of Miller’s twisted take on seasonal slaughters. I mean, it’s got Santa Claus with a flamethrower and Malcolm McDowell ranting about avocados on cheeseburgers — what else do you need?
Of course, outside the Certified Forgotten, Monagle and I have written plenty of words about everything Christmas Horror. Shout out to my partna’ for this killer piece on the progressive politics of Black Christmas (1974), for example. Or, if you’re looking for Christmas Horror recommendations this year (or ever), I’ve got a handy Letterboxd list I do my best to keep fully up to date with more than 150 titles, over 120+ reviewed as of today (I have a problem).
Ho ho ho ya hooligans, let’s see what treats we brought ya this week across our weird little multiverse.
Published This Week
Episode 75: Outpost ft. John Torrani
Welcome our latest guest John Torrani to the family, a man I’ve known since my earliest days involving myself in the New York City horror scene. John unites his love of war films with his adoration of scary stories, which collide in a 2008 indie about Nazi ghosts titled Outpost. It’s a contemplative, doomy, and ever so gloomy take on how battlefield sins weigh heavily on soldiers, starring the brilliant Mr. Ray Stevenson (RIP). Where Overlord or Frankenstein’s Army embellish militaristic genre elements, Outpost is a thinking veteran’s take on the demons that haunt people after wars end.
‘Mr. Jones’ Is a Twisted Take on Found Footage – And So Much More by Erin Devany
My favorite thing about editing writers for Certified Forgotten is getting constant reminders of movies I need to catch up on. Mr. Jones isn’t new to me, but it’s one that this found footage lover has had in the “get to someday” pile for too long. Erin’s evaluation of the mixed-perspective approach reminds me of many a video vortex experience where found footage becomes an experimental mind trip. It's safe to say I’ll be correcting this blind spot soon.